Fine Dining in Madrid: Santceloni

Preparing for my trip abroad, I read some Carlos Ruiz Zafon, who writes hyper-real, intense thrillers that take place in Spain.  My first eating experience in Madrid occurred in a dining room that would have been a good backdrop for the climax of one of Zafon's books. 

The drama took place at Santceloni, a restaurant with two Michelin stars that belongs to Santi Santamaria, who is probably one of the top three chefs in Spain (the others, from what I understand, are Juan Mark Arzak and Ferran Adria).  Some say that Santceloni is likely to become Madrid's first restaurant to earn three stars.

As we walked in, square-jawed waiters in crisp tuxedos rushed to greet us, and when we sat down the chairs screeched as the ultra-energetic waiters pushed the seats under our butts before rushing back to the kitchen to guzzle another can of Roboosto.
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The server was no match for our middle school level espanol.  Much to his distress, he didn't understand our Spainglish question about the origin of the ox crabs that were listed on the menu.  He apologized with the shame of a defeated Samurai and hustled to the bar to get someone else who could help.

Santamaria, the chef, has ragged on his rival, Ferran Adria, for using too many modern cooking practices, saying that, "The table is not an art gallery," and referring to his own approach as "traditional."  But a lot of the dishes at Santceloni were high-wire acts.

First they brought out six amuse-bouches: fried pasta with a creamy filling of fish and cheese, a pastry, an apple compote and beets, mussels, and raw shrimp wrapped in fried breading.

At one point I took a break from plowing through my amuse-bouches to glance around, and in the each of the three directions I looked, there was a waiter watching me attentively, as if for years he'd dreamed of doing whatever he could to please a random guy from America who wasn't dressed for the occasion.

After the amuse-bouches, each dish was spectacular:

Leek Soup with Mackerel.  They brought this out on-the-house.  The white leek broth was foamy and had fresh corn on the bottom, and the mackerel was ultra-delicate.

Scorpion Fish with Hog Snout.  In addition to being one of the world's most venemous fish, the scorpion fish looks really cool.  They live in the shallow sandy sea beds of Spanish waters and are considered by Spaniards to be luxury-eating.  Santceloni pairs this opulence with commoner food: unctuous hog snout.

Ox Crab.  Ox crab comes from Northern Spain.  The dish was served cold as a gelee with big chunks of the exotic crab meat hidden in a sweet onion cream.   A waiter said the meat came only from the tastiest part of the ox crab: its head.

At some point, someone with responsibility for naming things looked at this and said, "Just like an ox!"