Americans are Becoming Food Snobs

Americans are Becoming Food Snobs?
This Thomas Rogers article over at Salon describes a recently popular French food movement called Le Fooding (I don't know the translation to French, but it sounds awfully literal). The gist is that the French are overcoming their snobbery to try food that is new, unconventional and populist. Rogers thinks this movement is a "rebellion" against American food movements, which "implore people to consider their food much more exclusively." So ... what food movements in America are not populist? Natural foods? Have you noticed the Chipotle and Whole Foods on every block anywhere?


Michel Richard to Open Up New Restaurant, "Michel," in Tysons Corner
Sietsema at the Post broke this story.  Richard, the owner of Citronelle and Central, will be locating his new restaurant at the old Maestro space in the Ritz-Carlton, which he calls "the castle." 

Spike Opening up a New Restaurant
As part of his plot to take over Pennsylvania Ave one storefront at a time, Spike Mendelsohn aka the Fedora Guy from Top Chef is opening up a restaurant right next to his other place, Good Stuff Eatery.  The new joint, We, the Pizza, will be a New York style pizzeria with farm-fresh ingredients.  In a somewhat depressing quote, Spike explains, “We live in a generation of people who want good things right away.  That’s what they appreciate. We take your favorite classic American food and we make it finer for you, and we make it fast.”

Saveur Best Food Blogs Awards
No award for Fuchs Foodie Journal?  Clearly they need to start a category for most posts about cooking python.  I have to admit, though, some of these blogs are pretty cool.  Check out the Food Wishes blog in the category for Most Innovative Video Content.

Great Recipe for Scrambled Eggs and Matzo
What kind of Jew would I be if I didn't promote a matzo recipe during Passover?

Morels from Oregon - The Delicacy with Blue Collar Roots

Culinary luxuries are supposed to come from places like the temperate waters of the Mediterranean or lush pastures of Kobe.  People pay a lot for bluefin tuna and wagyu, but delicacy vegetables?  Those two words seem as odd a pair as jumbo shrimp and sweet pickles.

Then I heard A&H Seafood and Gourmet had fresh morels for sale at $26 per pound (you can find them on my Market Specials Page).  The price sounded a little steep for food that comes from dirt.  Top-dollar chow isn't supposed to grow up with insects and decomposing organic matter.  Do morels deserve their rags-to-riches success?

Like all great delicacies, morels are really rare.  A&H ships theirs all the way from Oregon, where gray, black, and yellow fungi hide in deciduous forests and often evade whole packs of springtime mushroom hunters.  Everywhere else, family secrets cover up adoptions or affairs; in Oregon, families keep tight-lipped about the morel-rich treasure spots near their homes.

And like caviar and octopus, the appearance of these shrooms is striking.  This isn't your local Giant's prosaically smooth button mushroom.  At A&H, Lorenzo took a couple out of the bag to proudly show off the morels' unruly ridges, which make the caps look a bit like waffles melting over a fire.  They form the kind of pattern that Escher might have drawn up after eating a few mushrooms himself.

Back home, I checked out recipes for cooking morels - they're deceptively simple.  Cooking times are short, but don't overlook these three rules:

1. Before cooking, slice each morel lengthwise and wash thoroughly to remove sand from the hollow centers.  The careful attention required to clean them is one reason nobody's been able to make morels a broad commercial hit.  A company in Felton, California, once harvested them in decent numbers, but it eventually folded because they couldn't consistently scrape out the sand.

2. Some recipes say to soak them overnight.  Don't - the flavor seeps out.

3. Resist the urge to dress them in a lot of soy or sriracha.  Morels are best with just a few traces of oil or butter and a sprinkling of salt. 

You season so sparsely because you don't want any glory-seeking ingredient wandering into the morels' spotlight.  After a few bites, I decided the flavor was closest to hickory smoked almond, and later on I read that people in Kentucky actually call them hickory chickens.  But morels also have sweet notes that remind me of white corn, and the texture is like a spongy honeycomb.

Other than the Mushrooms-from-Mars look, there's nothing challenging about eating morels; they go down like comfort food - sort of the culinary version of 24.  And yet, just add a few morels to a mix of spinach, bell peppers and shallots, and you got yourself a delicacy salad.

Fresh Morels From Oregon at A & H

A & H Gourmet and Seafood Market has these very cool-looking morels on sale right now.  I picked up half a pound last night and I'm cooking them this weekend.  Blog to follow soon.

A & H is also featuring bottles of Sol de La Mancha, an oil olive oil known for its artichoke flavors. 

Want to find out about a bunch of other market specials in the DC area?  Want to get a special Fuchs Foodie reader discount at Wagshal's Market?  Then click here.

Schlenkerla - Beer That Tastes Like Bacon

It’s not often your superior tells you take off work early to get drunk. And, if you were looking at the transcript of our conversation, you might conclude that’s not exactly what my boss meant when he got to telling me about his passion for smoked beer.

Beyond his actual words, though, you have to understand that it was a beautiful day with the kind of bird-chirping and sun rays that hypnotize the vulnerable government employee into wandering out of the office even without an excuse as good as smoked beer.

Plus, this wasn’t just any smoked beer he was rapping about – it was Schlenkerla, a beer that's supposed to taste like bacon.

Who else would figure out how to make liquid, alcoholic bacon besides the beer and sausage obsessed people of Bamberg, Germany.  They do so by roasting green malts over beechwood flames in 700 year old cellars.

Matthias Trum, head of operations for Schlenkerla brewery, lives above the famous Schlenkerla tavern.  Notice the absence of a wedding ring - could it be that the perfume of ham, smoke, and beer hasn't been good for his social life?

Now, in my college days, I was something of a beer connoisseur.  Yes, my knowledge was limited to 40-ounce bottles of malt liquor.  And yes, I was mostly focused on alcohol content and lyrical references to these beers in gangster rap songs.  But I was encyclopedic.

Since then my interest in beer has been sporadic, but when I heard about bacon brew, I immediately called it a work day and beer-lined it over to Cleveland Park Wine Store.

When I picked it out, I noticed the label features the image of a hobbled byrger.  Legend has it that one of the former brewers in Bamberg had a funny walk due to an accident, so he got the nickname Schlenkerla, an old German expression for walking like a drunk penguin.  Bambergers began calling the tavern Schlenkerla, too.

When I got home I took my first taste, and I'm continuing to swill beer as I write.  So I guess I'm drafting this post in more ways than one, and if the writing in the last few paragraphs is a lot worse than the beginning, keep in mind I've got an excuse.

It's true - this beer actually tastes just like bacon.  So it's a bit baffling that I'm not crying tears of joy as I quaff.  I'm reminded of the awkward morning after Seth Rogen's character in Knocked Up sleeps with what should be the perfect woman.

On paper, this is a brilliant concept, combining two of the most fatty, manly delights ever; the polar opposite, I suppose, of mango flavored seltzer water.  The idea could be improved only by serving in a stein made of cheese fries or onion rings.  In fact, locals consider Schlenkerla the perfect complement to the Bamberg Onion, a large onion filled with ground pork, eggs, bread rolls, spices and parsley, and then topped with bacon and capped with the onion top.

The perfect complement to bacon beer

But Schlenkerla's pig n' swig isn't quite as good as I'd hoped.  The bacon beer novelty, and the subtly sweet notes of chocolate and tobacco, are worth checking out, and I would probably buy it again.  With every taste, though, all I can think about is how much I'd like to replace my mug with a plate of sizzling bacon.  Maybe that's why you don't hear too much about pureed bacon or bacon soup.

I will, however, be checking out my boss' other recommendations: Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA and Immort Ale.

Crispy Spinach Salad at Fusion

Becoming really knowledgeable about all the restaurants in D.C. takes a while.  While I'm at it, I might as well get a handle on all the books in the Library of Congress, too.

So, hours after posting my blog complaining that there aren't enough Indian restaurants in D.C. that serve palak chaat, I heard about one I'd somehow overlooked: Fusion on Georgia Ave (between N Delafield Pl & N Decatur St).  Still, that brings the grand total of restaurants serving palak chaat to only three - unless others are still avoiding my roti-dar. 

I read on Young and Hungry that Fusion's version, called Crispy Spinach Salad, is similar to Rasika's.  Perhaps it shouldn't come as a surprise that owner Barry Dindhal got his training at - yep - Rasika, as well as Bombay Club, another Ashok Bajaj venture.

Last night, I paid a visit to Fusion with fellow gastronauts Lolly and Marcy.

Like Cafe of India's version, Fusion's palak chaat triangulated sweet and bitter to find a flavorful intersection.  But to compete with Rasika's dish, palak chaat should be Pringles-esque.  I couldn't quite hear the crunch of the fried spinach over the noise of the dinner crowd; I was able to stop even after I popped.

Other than the palak chaat, we had the seafood curry, warm asparagus and goat cheese salad, and tandoori shrimp.  All were enjoyed, but consensus was that Fusion is a little overpriced.

More Info about DC Top Chef

A few of the latest rumors and some thoughts about Top Chef coming to D.C.:

• The Quickfire kitchen will be at the Washington Hilton (aka the Hinckley) on Connecticut Ave just north of Dupont Circle.

• Filming will occur during the first three weeks of April.  Does this mean Padma only has to work three weeks a year?

• Some Washingtonians are disgruntled about the timing because very few foods besides asparagus will be in season during these weeks.  But I'm not concerned - Top Chef is usually too focused on Whole Foods product placements to feature local produce, anyway.

• Here are some chat room ideas for the D.C. Top Chef agenda:

• Quickfire at Maine Avenue Seafood Market.
• Obama should be a guest judge.  Don't be stingy with that arugula!
• Work with Michelle and some school children to prepare a meal in the White House Garden.
• Barbecue on the mall.
• Visits from a few local Top Chef alumni.
• Contest where the Bravolebrities draw knives with the names of embassies; then they go to the embassy to cook the "native" food.
• Eastern Market Quickfire.
• Molecular gastronomy challenge at Minibar.
• D.C. Central Kitchen.

Bringing Rasika to Friendship Heights

It's true, Washingtonians aren't known for holding hands by the Potomac and singing C is for Cookie.  But in a town that loves to debate everything, including food, one point of agreement is Rasika's palak chaat.

It doesn't matter if you're a U Street hipster or a partner at Pickering - we all rave about Chef Vikram Sunderam's translucent, perfectly seasoned spinach crisps.  Want to get that health care bill passed?  Put a Rasika food cart in the aisles of the Capitol Building.  (Here's my review of Rasika.)

Rasika's palak chaat (from two taste buds)

But if we like palak chaat so much, I wondered, why's it so hard to find at other Indian restaurants?  What if, like me, you live on the other end of town and can't make it to Penn Quarter to hit Rasika and get your fix?  Sure, nobody likes a copy-cat.  But can I get a couple copy-chaats?

After a couple weeks of asking around, I finally heard about a place, Cafe of India, only a few blocks from my apartment that serves a knock-off of Rasika's knockout dish.  I was concerned by the name of Cafe of India's version, Crackling Spinach, which conjures a Mumbai McDonalds.  Nevertheless, I stopped by Wisconsin Ave that same day to give it a try.

Cafe of India's Crackling Spinach

I was hoping for a Rasika replica, but Chef Singh's chaat didn't measure up to the one created by Chef Sunderam, or as I know him, the Chaat Whisperer.  Rule number one for using onomatopoeia: make sure you get the noise right.  Cats don't go "oink," and Crackling Spinach shouldn't go "squish," but Cafe of India's version was soggy with too much oil. 

Chef Singh saves the dish by mixing in tasty avocado slices and dates, but my craving wasn't satisfied. 

A sizzle from the kitchen caught my attention.  In a flash, I realized what I had to do.

Just hours later, I was out in Rockville surrounded by a circle of irate Indian grandmothers. 

This is the riot that ensues when you request cooking advice at Patel Brothers, the best Indian supermarket in the DC area. 

Just as a butterfly can start a chain of events leading to a hurricane merely by fluttering its wings, all I did was quietly ask a friendly-looking grandma about chaat making.  Minutes later, I was caught in the tempest of rowdy culinary debate.

One of the owners, Sha, escorted me safely out of the Grandma Gladiator pit and grabbed the list of ingredients roughly from my tremblng hand. 

Sha from Patel Brothers

I trailed his charge through aisles stuffed with Indian pastries,

Haldiram's snacks,

fresh produce,

and every kind of masala until my cart was filled with palak chaat ingredients: date and coriander chutneys, chaat masala, long green chilies, gram flour, and desi dahi, or yogurt.

"Now you have what you need to make any type of chaat," Sha explained.  And, pointing to the produce section, "Next time, try with onions.  That's my favorite."  In DC, palak chaat is considered an iconic original, but it was clear that, to Rockvillian Indians like Sha, it's just another of India's excellent, savory street-food snacks.

Back in my kitchen, I recalled the guidance of Atul Narain, Rasika's manager: apply a gram flour batter to the spinach, flash fry it and toss with traditional chaat ingredients. 

Good advice, and Yoda-like when compared to the response I got from Mishra, the manager at Cafe India.  "Look, my wife has told me twenty times exactly how to do the laundry," he said, "and I still don't get it right. I could tell you how to cook palak chaat, but ... hey, you might get lucky."

After eating more than my share of palak chaat and soaking up Sha's advice and the chaat related verbal fisticuffs of his customers, I felt capable of more than luck.

I prepared a batter with the gram flour, baking soda, salt, and chili powder.

I dusted the spinach lightly with the batter.  Coat too thickly and you'll end up with something that looks like this:

Then I added the dusted spinach to a sizzling pan of oil and watched the leaves fill with big bubbles from the baking soda.

Following the next step is the difference between Rasika's light and crispy crowd-pleaser and Cafe of India's mushiness: soak up as much extra oil as possible with a paper towel and let the leaves cool.

Now, turn your spinach leaves into a Jackson Palak by flicking them with dots and streaks of green (coriander chutney), brown (chaat masala), white (sugar-infused yogurt) and purple (date chutney).

The result is thin and beautiful like stained glass. 

And the taste of the smoky fried spinach with fiery chutneys, sweet yogurt and cumin laced masala?  Practically religious, especially for a palak chaat on the other side of the red line.  Try for yourself and see if you agree.

New Yorkers Meet Michel Richard

Henry Ford called New York a different country. “Maybe it ought to have a separate government,” he said.
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“Everybody thinks differently, acts differently – they just don’t know what the hell the rest of the United States is.”
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I don’t disagree. I just didn’t think that the observation applied to my parents. They only moved to the City from Nashville two months ago.
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But the silence said it all. My parents were visiting me in D.C. I’d taken them to Central, and soon after sitting down, I had asked them to name the two best chefs in D.C.

My dad went into a vegetative state.

“I’ll give you a hint,” I said. “One of them owns this restaurant.” My mom looked down at the bread basket, maybe hoping that the grains would miraculously form a D.C. chef’s face like the Jesus Pan that puts the face of the Anointed One on your pancake.

Yes, my parents can rattle off the names of all the important chefs of New York, but I could have told them that Michel Richard, owner of Central, was the doorman of the French Embassy. As for the second great D.C. chef, I spotted them the “Jose,” and they still couldn’t come up with Andres.

I thought that an evening at Central, winner of the 2008 James Beard Award for best new restaurant, might show them that good food does exist south of the Battery – strong medicine for anyone suffering from a touch of New York chauvinism.

They were impressed by the variety of the menu at Central, but they ordered their appetizers conservatively, starting with the house salad. Could a restaurant outside of the City really be trusted with anything else? Expressing a little more confidence in Michel, I got the foie gras and duck rillettes. The former was a “faux” foie gras – the real thing is made with duck, but executive chef Cedric Maupillier purees chicken liver with butter to make it smoother and richer. There was so much of it that I wondered if I was the one being gavaged.
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The rillettes had a rustic texture – larger pieces of duck than the soft, smooth version that the French lovingly refer to as brown jam. In the Anjou region of France, rillettes are proudly displayed to the guest of honor, but when the waiter explained to my guests that the wax-like mystery topping was actually lard, they quickly passed.
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But my dad did approve of the foie gras, which led him to be a little more adventurous with his entrée: braised rabbit with herbed spaetzle. The Washington Post called this dish – which features rabbit loin, leg, and sliced coins of kidney – a “stellar combination,” and my parents agreed. My mom’s only experience with rabbit was as a kid when her summer camp used to serve Welsh rabbit; all the campers called it “shit on bricks.” Since then, she had avoided rabbit, but now she was learning to love our furry little friend – in a restaurant outside of New York.
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My entrée was the pied de cochon. Unlike the trotters you get with Southern soul food, the meat was pulled off the bone and braised, then mixed with mushrooms and deep-fried in a puff pastry that resembled an egg roll. The braising process had softened the muscular hoofs just enough. And the meat had that mineral taste at the finish that suggests grassfed pork.
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My mom thought her shrimp burger lacked flavor, but, overall, Central had clearly impressed this New York foodie duo.
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But my hopes that I had cured them of New York snobbery were dashed on the metro ride back. They complained that the station map didn’t make sense; the people in the cars were working too hard and overly serious; and, when my dad’s card didn’t work, he tried to hurdle the turnstile. He had suavely achieved this maneuver on the way to the restaurant, but now, weighed down by braised rabbit, he tripped on the wheel. The transit worker looked up from her US Weekly. She was too lazy to actually say anything, but I know what she was thinking: Must be a New Yorker.
 

Top Chef Coming to Dupont

Get ready to stalk some Top Chefs.  As first reported by Metrocurean, season 7 will be filmed in D.C.

The production team was in town in late February to scout locations, and they decided on Dupont Circle.  The film crew arrives this week; chefs and judges will follow in early April.

The latest in blogosphere rumors is that the cast will do their Chef-peting at 2030 R. Street.  The judges, meanwhile, will stay at a hotel in upper Dupont.

Now, the average Top Chef stalker would just hang out at the P Street Whole Foods and wait for the chefs to show up and shop.  Two key flaws with this plan: one, while you wait, you're going to waste a lot of time staring vacuously at whole grain pita chips and fighting the inexplicable urge to spend $10 on vegan General Tso's Chicken.  Two, you're likely to suffer crush injuries from crowds that constantly overflow the aisles of the Dupont Whole Foods like a Lil Wayne concert.

On the other hand, the seasoned Top Chef stalker predicts Tom and company's every move, even the best attempts to shake me ... I mean, him.  Best guess is that the producers plan to avoid the beastly crowds of the Dupont Whole Zoos altogether. 

That's why I predict the prime location to spot a Top Chef over the next month will be a less crowded Whole Foods (if there is such a thing).  My money's on Rockville.

Homesick At Rasika? Get Over It

Minutes after raving about his first taste of palak chaat, Rasika's famous crispy spinach dish, my dad suddenly stops chewing and stares down sadly at the table.

"I think I miss authentic Indian food," he says.  But then he takes another bite and perks up.  "Nope, nevermind."

Rasika's post-modern, imaginative style has been called the "gateway drug" for people who don't like Indian food.  For those like my dad who do like Indian - who don't just tolerate but get off on Bitter Chutney Face and firebomb chilies - the best analogy for Rasika might be homesickness.

My Indian friend said it well: unlike other restaurants, Rasika serves food her mom would never be able to make.  If you were weaned on traditional Indian cooking, diving into Chef Vikram Sunderam's creations is like moving someplace where everyone's having a great time but you don't speak the language.

Like with homesickness, the best way to adapt to new culinary stressors is practice.  And Rasika is so good, before you know it you'll be feeling like a kid at summercamp who just made his first friend.

That first friend will most-likely be the palak chaat.  It's the appetizer the waitstaff always recommends, and, says General Manager Atul Narain, it's a Chef Sunderam original that's unique to Rasika.  (Learn how to cook palak chaat, here!)

Palak Chaat

It's amazing there haven't been any copy-chaats.  Sunderam applies a flour batter to the spinach, flash fries it and then tosses with traditional chaat ingredients like cumin, black salt, chili powder, sweetened yoghurt, date and tamarind chutney.  The spinach gets crispy, and in a way it's similar to khakra, the salty, crunchy flatbread from western India.  But Rasika's dish is also balanced by sweet and spicy flavors; the yoghurt itself could pass as a decent milkshake.

One of the benefits of getting an order of palak chaat to go for your  girlfriend - getting to see all the individual parts: (clockwise from top left) onions; sauce with chili powder, date and tamarind chutney; crispy spinach; and sweetened yoghurt 

Rasika's other signature dishes, according to Manager Atul, are the black cod, tawa baingan, and apple jallebi.

Cod is an easy, mildly enjoyable fixture in my weekly cooking routine; I grill it on my stovetop and it tastes ... well, good enough.  At traditional Indian restaurants, they give fillets the high, dry heat of a tandoori oven, and the result is smoky and a little tough. 

Buttery Black Cod

But when I got my black cod at Rasika, I felt like a kid at my own surprise party.  This is cod? 

Rasika rejects the tandoor for regular oven baking, which gradually melts the meat to a consistency even more buttery than sablefish.  In between the tender flakes of flesh live streamlets of fish juice.  With a fish this good, you don't want to bother with too many authentic Indian ingredients, and Sunderam keeps the marinade - fennel seeds, star anise, honey, fresh dill, and cheddar - thin and low profile.

Tawa Baingan

The tawa baingan is another dish that trades bold spicing for well cooked ingredients and innovation.  The eggplant and potato come together in a unique arrangement that reminded me of tiramisu, and the eggplant is so soft that it cuts like cake, too.

I haven't yet tried the apple jallebi, but if there's one dish I'm surprised doesn't get more acclaim, it's the banana chaat.

Here's how I know this chaat is good: Like many aspects of our relationship, Marcy and I have a competitive rivalry going with our food orders.  In the excel file where we record our restaurant scores, I usually only type the dishes I ordered, and she does likewise - adding one of her dishes to my spreadsheet would be a concession that she ordered better. 

But we both wrote down banana chaat. 
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The dish is like the answer to a question you haven't thought of yet - banana gets paired with avocado, and somehow that combination works perfectly when seasoned lightly with pepper, cumin, date, and tamarind chutney.

It's enough to make you never want to go home again.

A couple more recommended dishes at Rasika:

Fish Chutneywala - tilapia, mint, cilantro, coconut

Lobster Goan Masala with onion, tomatoes, kashmiri chili, malt vinegar

 

First my dad tells me I should include more pictures of people on my blog.

Then he does this:

Local Market Specials

Last Updated: March 26, 2010
		Address: 4855 Massachusetts Ave NW Washington DC 20016		. Phone: 202-363-5698
		. . Featured Specialty Products		. . Recipe
		1.Piedmontese steak 12 ounces - $1.00 off This steak has lower cholesterol and saturated fat than a chicken breast the same size! 2. Extra aged Delmonico steak - $3 off the list price if you mention the Fuchs Foodie Journal blog!!  Manager Pam describes this one as a SUPER SPECIAL! 3. New York Strip and Sirloin Steaks – Mention Fuchs Foodie Blog and get $2 off!! 4. Jumbo Fresh Shad Roe This shad roe comes from Virginia, so it’s the best you can buy.  Get it at Wagshal’s for $14.99, or pay $2 more and they’ll take the bones out for you. 5. Wild Carolina swordfish $16.99 6. Beautiful boneless prime chuck for stew or roast – $8.99/lb - Follow a Julia Child recipe and make beef bourguignon!		Iberico de Bellota – from Jose Andres
Last Updated: March 16, 2010		Address: 10323 Old Georgetown Road Bethesda, MD 20814		Phone: 301-564-3100‎
		. . Balducci’s Featured Specialty Products		.. .. Recipe
		1. Corned Beef Brisket, First Cut $4.99/lb 2. Domestic Lamb Shank $5.99/lb 3. Veal Scallopini $17.99/lb 4. Natural Pork Hot or Mild Italian Sausage $4.99/lb 5. Natural First Cut Beef Brisket $5.99/lb 6. Maya Kaimal Tamarind Curry $6.99/each More		Tamarind-Glazed Turkey Burgers
Last Updated: March 21, 2010
		Address: 4960 Bethesda Ave Bethesda Ave 20814		Phone: 301-986-9692
		A&H Featured Specialty Products		Recipe
		1. Morels in season VERY cheap from Oregon – great value, only  $26 /lb 2. Gray sole $12.95/lb 3. Sol de La Mancha Extra Virgin Olive OilONLY $6.95/lb - cold pressed olive oil with notes of artichoke and slight peppery finish! 4. Artichoke hearts from Spain $3.75/13 oz can		Merluza in an Aromatic Garlic, Parsley and Clam Sauce
		COMING SOON:
		Maine Ave Fish Market

Whole Branzino Greatness

(Continued from the blog about Dave Pasternack's Esca and weekend dining in NYC)

Pera

We concluded our 24 hour sprint through NYC's mean treats at a Turkish restuarant called Pera. Given that Pera came recommended by our hotel, and a location right around the corner from Grand Central, I thought the place would be full like a sultan's harem. Compared to Esca and DBGB, it was dead.

Was it the quality of the food that accounted for Pera's forsaken dining room? Or do New Yorkers, known for loving winners, only show up at restaurants with A Famous Chef in the Kitchen? Pera's lokma pots are manned by Sezai Celikbas and Jason Avery - "blue-collar chefs" who don't have the product lines, endorsements, or books that Boulud and Batali peddle.

But that doesn't mean they can't cook. Maybe they just don't look good on television.

"The economy's bad, and this place is overpriced," explained Barrett, half of the New York couple seated next to us. But he and Margie keep coming back for Pera's Mediterranean flavors.

I'm with them. So what if the prices are up there - if you can't pay $28 for perfectly cooked whole branzino greatness that looks like this, you might as well cut your throat and be done with it.

Whole Branzino

The eggplant and tomato timbale also justified the tab, but the dish of the night was the soujouk lollipops. Chef Celikbas spices them with powerful notes of cumin and sumac, then allows the ground meat to dry for several weeks. Manager Hakan Aktas told us that these meat pops are one of a few appetizers Pera recently added to the menu - maybe that explains why none of Pera's press reviews mention them.

Eggplant and Tomato Timbale

Soujouk Lollipops

Another top tapa was the Turkish smoked lamb tacos. A similar dish is made in Mexican cooking with mole sauce, but Pera's dressing of goat cheese and melted chedder is a subtler complement that doesn't overpower the taste of the lamb.

Smoked Lamb Tacos

But what's with the soggy taco? Laying the spicy lamb down on that mushy slider is like throwing a beautiful woman on an old shag rug.

Mediterranean peasant salad · cucumbers, red and yellow grape

tomatoes, parsley, onion, red wine vinaigrette

The only disappointment of the night: lobster falafel

DC's Version of Pera

I'd probably have to go with Zaytinya, which offers a number of similar dishes like soujouk, shish, and kibbeh. Zaytinya's menu is a more comprehensive survey of the Mediterranean cuisine, though, and in terms of overall quality and consistency, the nod goes to Chef Isabella's joint.