Mumbo Jumbo at Agua Dulce

I cracked up at my dad’s email this morning and thought I would share it – see caps.  The restaurant is Agua Dulce.  He doesn’t live in D.C., and the blog he’s referring to is this one, I think, or maybe some imaginary blog.  For his purposes, I guess it didn’t really matter!  In any case, you might want to adopt his strategy for nailing a good table at a busy restaurant.  Hell, I might want to use the strategy, too, since I'm the one who actually has a food blog!

LAST NITE WE MET FOR DINNER AT A LATIN PLACE ON 53RD ST AND 9TH AVENUE. AGUA SOMETHING OR OTHER. WE WERE LATE FOR OUR RESERVATION BY ABOUT 15 MIN BUT CALLED TO TELL THEM WE'D BE LATE AND WERE TOLD FINE, DON'T WORRY. WHEN WE GOT TO THE RESTAURANT WE WERE GIVEN SOME MUMBO JUMBO WHICH I SOON INTERPRETED TO MEAN THAT THEY HAD GIVEN AWAY OUR TABLE. THEY TOLD US THEY COULD SEAT US DOWNSTAIRS. I ASKED TO SEE DOWNSTAIRS, WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE A POORLY FINISHED BASEMENT; DARK, DANK, AND DESERTED.

I WENT BACK UPSTAIRS, FOUND THE MANAGER (SOME SMARMY 30-SOMETHING WHO ACTED LIKE HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND) AND GAVE HIM HELL FOR GIVING AWAY OUR TABLE. HE REALLY ZEROED IN WHEN I SAID, "AND BY THE WAY, I LIVE IN WASHINGTON DC AND HAVE A VERY WELL-READ BLOG AND YOU CAN BET THE RANCH I'M GOING TO WRITE ABOUT THIS EXPERIENCE TOMORROW."

WE WERE SEATED AT A VERY GOOD TABLE WITHIN 10 MINUTES. AND MY CEVICHE WAS VERY GOOD DESPITE MY FEAR THAT SOMEONE MAY HAVE SPIT IN IT.

Ho Ho Hoisin: The Non-Christian Christmas

In a recent episode of 30 Rock, Jack Donaghy sends out cards that read, “Happy Holidays … is what the terrorists would say.  Merry Christmas.”

Can anyone blame the Jews if they’re antagonized?   Is it provocations like this that cause us to opt out of the tree and turkey in favor of a Chinese restaurant?  Or, is the tradition of eating Chinese an effort to assimilate with Christians by doing something to observe the day as well?

Various newspaper articles, blogs, and even a 1992 academic paper titled “Safe Treyf,” have tried to explain the origins of this Jewish custom.  Here are a few of their theories:

-          Religious Jews don’t feel guilty about eating Chinese because it looks kosher, even if it really isn’t.  Offending ingredients like pork and shellfish are sliced thin and camouflaged with vegetables, so Jews can convince themselves, and others, that it’s close enough. 

-          Back in the 1920s, the decade that marks the beginning of our love affair with Chop Suey Christmas, the ability to appreciate Chinese food was considered an indicator of worldliness, and a coveted status symbol for recently immigrated Jews.

-          Chinese places were the only restaurants open on Christmas. 

Interesting arguments, but something feels incomplete about them.  If our main priority is keeping kosher, why would Jews settle for pseudo-kosher restaurants when they can have the real deal at home or the deli?  And, if Jews initially chose Chinese restaurants because they were the only “worldly” places open, then why haven’t we expanded our tradition to other kinds of ethnic joints that have become increasingly popular over the past 20 years and stay open on Christmas?

Something else is going on.  Christmas is a pretty depressing time for Jews.  The gentiles are belting out their Christ songs ad nauseum and dressing up in LED word-scrolling Santa hats, and they just seem so damn happy.  We Jews are a people known for anxiety and insecurity even under normal circumstances.  Christmas actually gives us a good reason to feel left out. 

If only there was some antidote.  Perhaps the ultimate comfort food.  Aha, Chinese!  Researchers still can’t fully explain the science behind the calming effect of comfort food, but studies clearly show cause and effect.  For example, scientists in the UK recently gave subjects breakfasts that were either high-fat or high-carb, then plunged their hands into ice water.  Those who had eaten the fatty foods showed a better ability to tolerate pain. 

The American version of Chinese is notoriously full of fat and calories.  Your typical orange beef registers 1,500 calories and 11 grams of fat.  Lemon chicken?  1,400 calories and 13 grams.  And nothing soothes pain, even the sharp sting of cultural isolation, quite like battered and deep fried meat. 

(Then there’s the Freudian angle: is it possible that, in an attempt to ease our sense of estrangement from the Christian majority, we dine on Chinese and acquire an extra layer of abdominal fat with the subconscious purpose of more closely resembling the ultimate Christmas icon himself?)

Other ethnic restaurants, such as Thai, Vietnamese and Korean, haven’t pandered to the American preference for fatty meals to the same extent as Chinese proprietors.  Their dishes certainly pack calories, but, safe to say, there is no Korean equivalent to General Tso’s.

This might help explain why, when Marcy and I made plans for Christmas, the prospect of a meal at Sichuan Pavillion in Rockville somehow just seemed more appealing than any of the Korean places we usually go to.  We recruited Ulka and Venu, who are Hindu, to join us in observing Christmas by burying ourselves in goupy Asian soul food.

Our meal was notable for a couple of reasons.  First, despite Pavillion’s reputation for bona fide Chinese, the menu was evenly divided between “American Chinese” and “Authentic Chinese.”  Even the dishes from the Authentic half, such as thousand-year egg and spicy cold noodle, were less spicy than traditional Sichuan.  And the majority of these dishes splashed about in the same greasy chili oil concoction.  Which was perfect for our soul-healing purposes, but disappointing from a foodie perspective.

Dishes at Sichuan Pavillion: calorific and soothing

Second, the place was overflowing with Chinese customers.  They were practically hanging off the ceiling fans just to wait for a table.  I also saw ten or so swarthy, curly-haired white people, each of whom, I will take the liberty of assuming, was Jewish.

The demographics at Pavillion raised a few questions.  The Chinese crowd seemed especially big, even for a Saturday night – do non-Christian Chinese, unlike Jews, celebrate Christmas by going out to their own restaurants?   Ulka and Venu were the only Indians in attendance – do Hindus have some underground, competing Christmas tradition that I’ve never heard about?  Is it possible that some non-Christians don’t follow in our Semetic footsteps and hang out at Chinese restaurants?

To do some digging, I talked to Kaz Kazmi, the Hindu owner of Merzi, a new Indian restaurant in Chinatown.  “Growing up in England,” Kaz told me, “our families thought it was important to be a part of England’s cultural festivities, so we grew up cooking the traditional Christmas day dinner.”  But, he adds, “The turkey was seasoned Indian style!”  Kaz continues this tradition in America, assembling feasts of vegetables, garlic mashed potatoes and Yorkshire pudding.  He also imports his favorite chocolates from England for the occasion.

Like Kaz, Ulka said that, when she was growing up, her family prepared a special dinner at home.  But this “Christmas dinner” was actually a fancy Indian feast.  No turkey.  “My mom cooked a turkey once,” she said.  “She never quite got into it and I don’t think my dad enjoyed it.  They nixed making turkey after that.”  Another twist was that, whereas the rest of the year Ulka’s family would cook in the style of Gujarat, the Indian state they come from, on Christmas they would get creative with non-Gujarati cuisine. 

Now that the second generation in America – Ulka and her siblings – has grown up, though, they celebrate Christmas by cooking the traditional turkey dinner, with only a few Indian dishes thrown into the mix.  “I guess we’re adapting to life in the States.”  Even Ulka’s parents get into it.  “They look forward to having a big non-Indian meal.”

Not all Indians partake in special activities, though.  The general manager at Rasika, Atul Narain, reported a more passive approach to Christmas.  “Though we all enjoy the festivities, there are no traditions as such,” he said.

And non-Christian Chinese?  Is it true that they take the parochial route, frequenting their own restaurants, as suggested by the influx of Chinese customers at Sichuan Pavillion this past Saturday?

My friend Ed, a Chinese investment banker living in London, said that, growing up in New Jersey, there wasn’t any special custom of going out to a Chinese restaurant on Christmas.  The only nearby Chinese restaurants served Americanized Chinese, which didn’t taste good to his parents.  But they celebrated at home – with their Christmas tree.  “For my immigrant parents, it had some integration purpose,” he said.  “Usually my folks would prep a mixture of home-cooked Chinese and some American food to appease the kids.  Have some friends and family over.”

On Saturday night, as we were leaving Sichuan Pavillion, I was passed by a Caucasian of dark complexion whose belly, surely inflated by the evening’s pig-out, suggested he was on his way to receive a few last-second wishes from children at White Flint mall. 

Nope.  He was a Jew.  “You a Macabee?” he said, referring to the ancient Jewish army.

“Of course,” I said.  We exchanged knowing smiles.  With Christians – and even a few non-Christians – at home celebrating, our numbers seemed strong.   

Rice Bar DC Spoils You Royally

Rulers of Korea during the pre-modern era were outrageous foodies.  These novelty seekers didn't hesitate to borrow elements from the cuisines of neighboring countries.  A Board of Personnel was created just to get rice for the royal family.  And cooks at the palace used up to thirty different ingredients for the big Korean cajuna's bibimbap.

In Annandale, Korean restaurants serve bibimbaps that are modest by comparison.  Uniformly, as if required by Fairfax County regulations, NoVa restaurants limit their baps to just a smattering of vegetables (mushroom, spinach, bean sprout, a couple others if you're lucky), some beef, maybe an egg.  Commoner bibimbap.

Which is fine.  But I'd rather be treated like a king.  At Rice Bar, which opened in Dupont this past May, you get to create your own fantasy bibimbap.

To make your Dreambimbap come true, you go through a few quick steps at a counter with an assembly line of servers.  Why does that sound familiar?  "We try to copy Chipotle as much as possible," says Jim Lee, the owner.  (And perhaps this place?)

First, you select a base of white, black, or brown rice.  A nice set of options, as if assembled by your own Board of Personnel.  Go with black.  It's purple when cooked, nutty, and antioxidant-rich. 

The second step is what makes Rice Bar unique to this area and perhaps the country.  What other Korean restaurant in the U.S. offers over 20 different toppings?  And the toppings aren't pulled from the thin air by some uninformed, psychotic fusion zealot.  Jim has helmed three other Asian restaurants since he arrived from L.A. 13 years ago, during which time he's tinkered with numerous influences, all the while conjuring the perfect bibimbap ingredients.

Where the hell did crispy onions come from?  "I got a lot of Indonesian friends."

The spicy peanut sauce concoction?  It's Thai.  Did I mention that Jim's previous restaurants were Japanese?  Check out the edamame. 

Then there are the they-just-make-sense ingredients, like avocado, asparagus, corn, and walnut, that other restaurants must have considered, but reject, showing a clingy relationship with convention.  Add to that, a complete set of the usual suspects: spinach, carrot, bean sprout, sweet potato shoot, zuchinni, eggplant, ballon flower root, chinamul, shitake, roasted seaweed, cucumber, bamboo shoot, radish salad, and gochujang sauce. 

Next up, select your meat.  Go with traditional proteins like beef and egg, but, to fully experience Jim's expert touch, experiment with the toppings.  Order about ten of them - five old-school Annandale stand-bys, and the other five innovative.  In the seeming chaos of your bowl, you will taste patterns of order.  Bibimbap's most pleasing attributes - fresh vegetables, sesame oil flavored rice, ground meat, and tangy sauces - are retained.  Yet elevated.  Everyone should try a gochujang-covered walnut once before they die.

The Rice Bar menu also includes donburi, ramen, and sushi, but there's a reason the sign outside says only bibimbap.

For regulars at the downtown area's two Korean food trucks, which are nice but average, or teary fans of the recently deceased Yee Hwa, step it up and check out Rice Bar.  Jim says he gets 200 to 300 customers for lunch every day.  Fill up your bowl well past the brim and pretend they're your minions.

My Kimchi Survey at Giant Supermarket in Friendship Heights

I would like to say that, in follow up to my recent post about searching for a convenient source of kimchi, I received a flood of tips alerting me to closeby supermarkets that stock my Korean object of devour.

I have run, I have crawled, and I've checked with numerous large supermarket chains across the U.S., but I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

Based on the responses to my query, it seems that the decision about whether to carry an ethnic food product, such as kimchi, at a given store location is typically made on the basis of one key factor: local demographics.  By and large, supermarkets - even those that put kimchi in their stores in other cities - figure the D.C. population doesn't include enough Koreans to justify stocking it. 

If this is indeed the rationale, I've discovered a few examples that glaringly defy that logic.  For instance, Jane Black, former Washington Post food writer and fellow kimchi lover, emailed me to say they have kimchi at her Kroger in West Virginia.  According to the 2005 census, Asians comprised 0.69% of the West Virginia population.  It was 5.3% in Maryland.

The rationale also seems to exclude the possibility that non-Asian customers might buy enough kimchi to make up for a low Korean demographic.  Many supermarkets in my survey made vague references to discontinuing items based on their "salability," and the "research" they conduct on the appeal of products to a particular customer base.  They all stopped short of saying that their researchers have actually questioned customers at stores in predominantly white areas about their interest in buying kimchi.

So I decided to help out. 

One night last week, I froze my ass off in front of the Friendship Heights Giant asking random customers if they would buy kimchi at Giant.  My goal was to interview 100 survey subjects, but after 20 minutes and 30 responses, my aforementioned ass-freezing overcame my passion for investigative journalism.

The results?  13 shoppers claimed they would buy kimchi on a frequent basis.  9 unfortunate souls clearly had never heard of kimchi.  One individual launched into a passionate statement about how much he likes cream cheese, before I interrupted and explained that he had misheard me.

The survey pool is too small for me to reach any definitive conclusions.  But I think that my finding of 43% affirmative responsese suggests that Giant, as well as other supermarkets, should direct their research teams to see if this figure would hold up when the survey is expanded to a broader sample.

Sabor'a Street Hits Streets After Christmas

The DCist reports today that a new food cart called Sabor'a Street should open its roll-up side doors by the end of the month.

The Latin themed menu entices:

- Frita ($8) - Cuban-style sliders with Spanish chorizo and Manchego on a brioche bun.  Toppings include fried fingerling potatoes, a chipotle-guava sauce, and (how cool is this) a fried egg.

- Pinchos ($6) – brisket skewers

- Arepas ($8) – cornmeal cakes (gluten-free) with a choice of adobo-marinated skirt steak, adobo-marinated pulled chicken or chili-glazed tofu

- Vegan-friendly chili-glazed tofu available

- Fresh-fried churros with dulce de leche

You get yucca frita or fried plantains with each entree.  Sauces include mojo, chimichurri, salsa verde, and guajillo chili sauce.

The mad gastronomist behind these creative dishes is Chef Jorge Pimental.  He grew up in the Dominican Republic, came to the U.S. in 2005, and previously cheffed at Mark & Orlando's, CommonWealth Gastropub and Masa 14.

To learn more about Chef Pimental, check out this Q&A on the Citysearch blog.

Get all the up-to-date info about Sabor'a Street on Facebook and monitor the truck's whereabouts on Food Truck Fiesta.

New York Times Writes About D.C. Food Scene

In her December 8 article for the New York Times Dining and Wine section, Jennifer Steinhauer skewers the White House for having the incredible nerve to grow its own garden and start a farmers’ market, even though “the Capitol is awash in milkshakes, grilled cheese sandwiches and mildly baroque pizza.”
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Steinhauer explains that, just in case you had any hope that Beltway insiders might once again find their way inside their belts, in the next few months, Danny Meyer plans to bring his heart-shocking Shake Shack to the District.
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Yes, you read correctly: the New York Times is criticizing D.C. because it has attracted a fat-and-fry restaurant chain that first opened its doors in Madison Square Park.
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Steinhauer's other example of D.C.'s tendency to hang out in the dumbed-down "great middle": Bobby Flay's Burger Place, which will open a District location next year.  Steinhauer neglects to mention that Flay's 2011 expansion plans also include Manhattan, and that the chain originally launched in a New York City suburb.
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That said, it’s a good thing New York is immune to the kind of embarrassing contradictions that are purportedly on display in D.C. between government food policies and the behavior of the restaurant industry.
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Oh, wait – sorry Paterson, nice try with the whole HealthierNY initiative. Cool program to improve food choices available in school cafeterias and vending machines, but the designer cupcake counters, noodle bars and meatball shops in your city gave birth to the calorie-crazy comfort food trend.
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I’m also wondering, is it at all possible that Steinhauer misconceives the relationship between federal government food policies and the local D.C. restaurant scene? As she points out, Congress recently passed a law that would require more fruits and vegetables in school lunches – does she think this law somehow applies with greater impact, or carries more direct cultural implications in D.C. than, say, in New York, simply because Congress meets here?
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Given that a recent report found that 40% of the kids in New York are obese or overweight, shouldn’t writers at the Times be relieved that federal policies are just as relevant in New York? If so, perhaps it makes more sense to try to correct our shared national hypocrisy than throw our grease-smeared bibs over our eyes everywhere except D.C.

Another Cartoon Character Eaten at Legend's in Chelsea

Nenta, our waitress at Legend's Bar and Restaurant, a new Sichuan joint in Chelsea, watched over my shoulder and giggled as I slowly raised my fork to my mouth.

"I don't like it!  I don't like it!" she chanted, to whom exactly, I'm not sure.

I didn't mind.  This might be as close as I get to that fantasy cheerleading squad I've been trying to assemble for my battles with new and exotic foods.

On the plate?  A braised turtle.  This is the latest effort in my campaign to devour every living thing that's ever been depicted as a cute, smiley cartoon (minus Olive Oyl). 

Legend's doesn't stoop to turtle soup, in which Franklin's unique flavor is typically muted by lots of spices.  Take the Creole version of the soup: good luck tasting more than cayenne pepper. 

Not at Legend's, where the menu dares customers with dishes like "Tears in Your Eyes," a spicy noodle dish and an unlikely homage to mid-1980s Prince.  Happily, I was served a straight shot of beak-to-tail reptile.  Why not?  Minus the gall bladder and lungs, it's completely edible, from the white meat of the neck and back, to the dark meat of the legs.

The chef, who comes from the Sichuan province, doesn't stop there when it comes to delivering the unadulterated turtle eating experience.  Common turtle-cooking wisdom - if there is such a thing - is to extract all of the fat, an approach that helps refine a very gamey, fishy flavor. 

Legend's leaves the fat, which prompted a debate at our table.  My dad said the taste was gamey.  My mom said fishy.  In the case of an amphibian, who is right?  Both, I think.  Can you fully understand or appreciate the earthiness of bison or the pungency of oysters until you've experienced the precise point of convergence between these two flavor extremes?

The chef hasn't completely lost his mind - he slips under the shell some ginger and garlic slices to balance the powerful turtle essence.  There's also a rich sauce and, at the plate's rim, a garnish of limes and cherries, which you can pluck as needed.
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Use these tongue-crutches sparingly, though, and you get a little taste of life 250 million years ago.  Turtles have ambled the Earth since before the dinosaurs, and survive today with their physical structure relatively unchanged.

Definitely deserving of pom-poms.

A Brand New P'haal Curry Monster

Through the tears, I looked up to see my mother’s face, wrenched with concern for the welfare of her only son. “My child is suffering,” she cried.
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I didn’t have a life-threatening disease. I wasn’t stretched out on a sidewalk bleeding from a gunshot wound. But the pain was about the same. I was eating a plate of p’haal at the Brick Lane Curry House in the East Village.
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Originally a Bangladeshi curry, p’haal has always been spicy. But in early twentieth century England, Indian restaurant owners upped the ante. British revelers would stumble into Indian restaurants after the pubs closed to harass the staff while eating a p'haal curry. The owners were not above revenge.  They dumped ten to twelve ground chilis into each bowl.
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The peppers they chose tell you just how much Indians resented colonization. One such pepper was naga jolokia, which translates to “cobra snake” and is used by Indian farmers in smoke bombs to keep wild elephants away from crops.

Adam Richman (Man vs. Food) watches a chef at Brick Lane prepare the p'haal - while wearing a gas mask

courtesy eatmedaily.com

But the Brits were so drunk they didn’t seem to mind the spiciness - not to mention the stomach aches, passing out, and even nosebleeds. Eating this unbelievably hot curry soon became a ritual for late-night male bonding.
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I hoped to participate in this bonding ritual at Brick Lane. While waiting to be seated, I got off to a good start when I met a guy from Texas at the bar. Was the rumor true that he’d tried the p’haal? “Naw, I didn’t try it,” he said. “I tamed it.”
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With that, he whipped out the Brick Lane certificate that proclaimed him a P’haal Curry Monster. His attitude was exactly the kind of bravado that I needed to inspire me. How else could I conquer a dish that defeats 90 percent of want-to-be Monsters?
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But the Texan took off, and my bonding for the night was over. No one at my table was masochistic enough to join me in ordering the fiery curry. They thought the other menu options looked especially good after the owner, Sati Sharma, said we could only get the p’haal if we gave verbal disclaimers not to hold the restaurant liable for physical or emotional damage.
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I gave the disclaimer, and when I took my first bite, it stung my palate like chards of glass. My table mates looked at me like a circus freak lying down on a bed of nails. The spectators seemed to be divided into two camps: those like my parents who worried that my brain would turn to lava; and another group, mostly the Indian wait staff, that derived great comedic entertainment from watching me pant and wildly fan myself with my napkin. Our friend, Don, had a foot in both camps: he showed some sympathy, but when I told him I was losing my hearing, he cackled.
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About this time, I got a text from my Indian friend Dave, an asbestos mouth who pumps bottles of hot sauce like most people squeeze the lap bar on a roller coaster: “You’re crazy.”
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I felt alone and misunderstood. My tongue was killing me. I kept waiting for the high that’s talked about by lovers of painfully hot curries. Supposedly, the body defends itself against the heat by releasing endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers. Indonesians on the Spice Islands who eat bird’s eye chilies as snacks throughout the day are said to be addicted to these endorphins. But my only addiction was to a cool glass of lassi, the Punjabi yogurt blend, that the waiter gave me to help quiet the screaming pain fibers in my mouth. But even this was an exercise in futility. There’s nothing you can do for the chili burn. Once the capsaicin penetrates the tissues in your mouth, only time allows the compound to break down. Cold beverages temporarily help because they numb the nerves, but as soon as you swallow, the bonfire lights up again.
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My dad studied the p'haal and said the smell was like law enforcement grade pepper spray. “You don’t have to finish it,” he reminded me. Defiantly, I took my biggest bite yet and immediately regretted it.
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Then, mercifully, I heard my spoon scrape the bottom of the plate. Sati, the owner, had been watching me closely, perhaps to make sure I didn’t try the mutton trick from Seinfeld. Sensing my progress, he came running over. I had done it. I had finished the p’haal.
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“You are not done yet!” Sati said, shaking his fist. “This,” he said, pointing to the huge chili pepper that came as a garnish, “you must eat this, too.” I stared at the pepper in horror. Sati laughed and I realized he was kidding. Then his smile went away and he cleared his throat. “You do have to continue, though,” he said, pointing at the curry-covered clumps of rice that were left on my plate. My parents eyed him venomously, but I just wanted to live up to the expectations of my sargeant in the eating marines.
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I regrouped and polished off the last traces of p’haal. I was happy to accept my Curry Monster certificate from Sati, but my stomach was like a furnace. With every breath, the flames would shoot back up into my throat. I said I needed some fresh air. Outside, I crossed the street to a shadowy area of the sidewalk, waited for a couple to pass by, and threw up.
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I was a little embarrassed that the p’haal had reduced me to sidewalk decoration. But later that night I earned back some tough points. After we left the restaurant, I tracked down some Listerine, ignored my stomach's protests and went out with Dave for quail eggs. The Texan would have been proud.

The Race to Become the John Mackey of Ethnic Shopping

Take heed, supermarket CEOs. We live in an era of specialization.

Check out this report, which finds that sales are down at seven conventional supermarkets, such as Safeway and Food Lion. Meanwhile, specialty supermarkets are laughing all the way to checkout. Take Whole Foods, where the organic approach has generated a sales uptick of 9 percent.

In fact, many of the specialized supermarkets in this country focus on foods that are organic and healthy.

Call it the Whole Foods model.

So, how about a new paradigm besides organic? As long as we’re seeing a decline in the popularity of standard, mass appeal supermarkets, why not explore other niches? The timing is ripe for the emergence of a cross-country chain of supermarkets dedicated to another intriguing specialty: ethnic cuisines.

Safeway, meet Safeworld. Superfresh, Superforeign.

Imagine uniting under one roof, not just one or two ethnicities, but the best products of H Mart (Korean), Patel Brothers (Indian), Pros Ranch (Hispanic), Habesha (Ethiopian) Eden Market (Vietnamese), and more. Is there any other theme that could better capture the American cultural identity, and more effectively tap into the foodie obsession with ethnic foods, than a sprawling patchwork of international aisles?

Of course, I have my own agenda. Too long have I hoped for a kimchi sighting in the international aisle at Giant. I’m always disappointed by its absence, then grief-stricken by the realization that a trek out to the H Mart in Wheaton is the only way I’ll get my fix of spicy fermented cabbage, not to mention lotus root and Korean blood sausage. As much as I love my Korean supermarket, I've got to battle Interstate 4 nutty 5 to get there.

Instead of waiting for my concept of a ubiquitous international supermarket to become reality, I recently tried to reverse engineer a convenient source of kimchi. I asked supermarket chains if they would consider expanding their international aisles to include this Korean staple. Hell, it’s got to be getting pretty popular if yours truly, a Nashville Jew, is craving the stuff, right?

Some of the responses were not so encouraging. A&P Supermarkets in Connecticut, New Jersey and New York, told me that weekly product testing shows kimchi wouldn't appeal to many of their customers. Other supermarkets, such as Giant, admitted that they’ve yet to even research customer interest. “No one has ever suggested kimchi before,” said spokesperson Eileen Katz. Her sense was that Giant would only make the addition at stores in communities with large Asian populations. She did at least promise to look into the possibility.

A couple responses were tantalizing. Ethan Baker, operations manager at Andronico's Community Markets, said you can find kimchi almost anywhere in the San Francisco Bay Area, adding, "I don't know of any supermarket chain that doesn't carry kimchi."  And Wegmans carries authentic kimchi at "any store where there is a demand," says Joe Natale, director of media relations.  But the closest Wegmans is a forty minute drive away.
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Whole Foods caught me off guard by revealing that stores in the Mid-Atlantic region already carry a brand called Sunja’s Kimchi, which has been hiding from me in the dairy section. Grocery coordinator Don Zambito and buyer AnaMaria Friede recalled that the supermarket has stocked kimchi since at least as early as 1992. They said that Sunja’s was “selected as it meets Whole Foods’ quality and ingredient standards – no artificial colors, flavors, preservatives.”

In the last few days, I’ve sampled three versions of Sunja’s – medium spicy, radish, and mild white. Without question, this is the kimchi most likely to succeed with Whole Foods shoppers: fresh-tasting, flavorful, very healthy, even exotic, but lacking in a few authentic ingredients, such as sugar, fish sauce, and gochugaru, which might otherwise weaken the product’s overall nutritional value. I asked Melissa Leach, the marketing manager at Sunja’s, about the brand: “I’m not sure you would call it a departure from kimchi as every household in Korea has a unique, time honored, fiercely protected family recipe. It’s a variation, but not necessarily a departure.”

I’m already a repeat-purchaser of Sunja’s, but I don' t know if it will inspire crack addict behavior like the pungent, spicy version.

So, entrepreneurs of the Twenteens, I leave it in your hands. Who’s going to step up and become the John Mackey of ethnic shopping?  If Whole Foods is any indication, there could be annual net profits of $160 million in it for you.

How Bobby Flay Ruined Thanksgiving

Roll over to Endless Simmer to read how Bobby Flay ruined my T-giving.

D.C. Holiday Eating

In town for the holidays?  Own the kind of appetite that gets you crawling out of your hibernation hole and waging combat against the elements?  Are you operating on a must-binge-basis to compensate for the hole in your heart left by the last two Redskins games?  D.C. food happenings are not frozen during December, even if your ass is.  Make it out to these events (descriptions courtesy of Linda Roth Associates and Heather Freeman Media & Public Relations):

December 1. Merzi Now Open!  Indovational Indian dishes in a contemporary, fast-casual setting.  Merzi is a revolutionary new take on Indian food: simple plates bursting with brilliant flavors.  Merzi, which means “choice” in Hindi, offers new interpretations of classic Indian dishes in a contemporary setting.  The food is healthy and fresh, to order is effortless, and the taste, inspired. Experience a food revolution at Merzi this month!  415 7th Street, NW Washington, DC.  Time: 11:00am-10:00pm daily.  Contact: 202-637-9140.

December 1.  Food Glorious Food Art Show and 2011 Calendar Launch Celebration

Embassy Suites Hotel at Chevy Chase Pavilion (Terrace Level)

Zenith Community Arts Foundation (ZCAF) hosts this holiday fundraiser supported by artists, area chefs, area businesses and patrons who embrace art to feed the hungry. Proceeds will benefit the Capital Area Food Bank.  WUSA9 anchor Andrea Roane is the evening’s emcee.   4300 Military Road NW Washington, DC.  Time: 6:30pm-9:30pm.  Contact: 202-783-8005 or online www.zcaf.org.  Cost: $80 per person, includes complimentary calendar

December 4 and December 11.  Lunch with Santa Cruises on the Spirit of Washington

Southwest Waterfront.  During this special Lunch with Santa cruise, the whole family can enjoy spending time with Santa while sampling the Spirit’s famous Grande Buffet and dancing to live entertainment.  Reservations can be made by calling 866-306-2469 or online. 6th & Water Streets, SW (three blocks from Waterfront Metro Green line station).  Time: Cruise boards at 11:00am and sails from 11:30am-1:30pm.  Cost: $44.90 per person, without taxes and fees

December 6.  Little Gifts that Give Big Holiday Shopping Event in Georgetown

Morton's will host to a premier shopping event for good local causes.  Signature hors d’oeuvres will be offered alongside fine wines and an exclusive raffle, while guests can shop from a variety of special holiday gifts including hand-crafted pottery, personalized gifts, and premium jewelry.  Vendors include Little Gorilla Designs, Stella & Dot Jewelry, One-of-a-kind handmade pottery from a number of local artisans, and the Washington Nationals.  A portion of all proceeds will benefit the Capital Area Food Bank, Nationals Dream Foundation, Dress for Success, and The Make-A-Wish Foundation of the Mid-Atlantic.  Morton’s The Steakhouse 3251 Prospect Street, NW Washington, DC.  Time: 6:00pm–9:00p.  Contact:  Denielle Nall at 202-342-6258 or cm.mdc@mortons.com

December 7.  One-Year Anniversary RIS Celebrates in Style.  Time flies when you are having fun --  at RIS in the West End.  Chef/Owner Ris Lacoste will have some surprises lined up for guests when her sophisticated all-day café celebrates its first anniversary on December 7.  Look for whimsical pop-up additions to the menu throughout lunch and dinner, and don’t forget to help her blow out the candles!  Call or visit www.risdc.com for reservations.  2275 L Street NW Washington, DC, Contact:  202-730-2500.

December 9, 10, 15, 16, 17, 20, 21, 22.  Holiday Lunches A la carte Offerings Extended at Dinner-Only Locations.  During the holiday season four normally dinner-only locations will be open for lunch on select days in December.  Diners in Crystal City, downtown Bethesda, Shockoe Slip in Richmond and Tysons Corner can enjoy a well-deserved break with colleagues to embrace lunch Morton's style!  Enjoy signature a la carte menu, featuring entree salads, sandwiches, fresh seafood, decadent desserts, and of course, the best steak anywhere!  As a bonus, the Richmond location will also be open Wednesday, December 8 in addition to the other dates above.  Morton’s The Steakhouse Arlington, Bethesda, Richmond, Tysons Corner

Time: 11:30am-2:30pm.  Contact: www.mortons.com/holidays for more information.

December 14.  The Art of Christmas Cookies at Zola.  Situated in Penn Quarter at 505 9^th Street, NW, Zola Wine & Kitchen will be teaching the art of Christmas cookies with a holiday cooking class on Tuesday, December 14^th. Priced at $55 per person, the class will run from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. and will be conducted by Executive Chef Bryan Moscatello and his talented culinary team who will demonstrate how to make traditional Christmas cookies as well as a few new twists on old cookie classics.  Another cooking class will be held on Wednesday, December 15^th where guests will learn to make a traditional Italian feast known as the Feast of Seven Fishes.  Priced at $90 per person, the class will run from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. and will revolve around anchovies, bacala, clams, octopis, orata, shrimp and tuna.  Additional information or inquiries can be made by calling (202) 639-9463 or by visiting www.zolawinekitchen.com.

December 20.  Redskins Meet & Greet Autograph Signing and Photo Opportunity

Come to Morton’s for a chance to meet your favorite Redskins players off the field. Morton’s, the official steakhouse of the Washington Redskins, will play host to an intimate, informal gathering of players and fans from around the area.  Have your memorabilia signed and enjoy signature hors d’oeuvres and cocktails in the bar and dining room.  Morton’s The Steakhouse

Located at 7400 Wisconsin Avenue, Bethesda, MD .  Time: 7:00pm-8:00pm.  Contact: Lynette D’Arco at 301-657-2650 or cm.mbe@mortons.com. Cost is free.

December 24.  Potenza Feast of Seven Fishes.  Located just steps from the White House at 1430 H Street, NW (corner of 15^th and H Streets, NW), Potenza will be dishing up the Feast of Seven Fishes, a traditional Southern Italian meal from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m.  For more information and to make reservations, please call (202) 638-4444 or visit www.potenzadc.com.

December 24.  701 Special Menus.  The landmark 701 Restaurant, located at 701 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, will be offering a $55 per person three-course menu in addition to an a la carte menu from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m. on Christmas Eve.  Prepared by Executive Chef Ed Witt, entrée standouts include Pan-Roasted Pheasant Breast & Stuffed Leg with Persimmon Sauce and Brussel Sprouts; Black Bass with Crispy Crab Gnocchi, Blood Orange Braised Fennel as well as Ricotta & Apple Ravioli with Shaved Black Truffles.  For reservations or additional information please call (202) 393-0701 or visit www.701restaurant.com.

December 24.  Bibiana Osteria-Enoteca Feast of Seven Fishes.  Dubbed one of the “Best New Restaurants in America” by Esquire magazine in November 2010, Bibiana Osteria-Enoteca, located at 1100 New York Ave, NW (corner of 12^th and H Streets, NW), will offer a traditional Feast of Seven Fishes available from 5:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. on Christmas Eve.  Prepared by Executive Chef Nicholas Stefanelli, the meal will consist of fish and pasta, following the Roman Catholic tradition to refrain from the consumption of meat or milk on holy days. The numerology represents the seven sacraments and seven days of creation.  For reservations please call (202) 216-9550 or visit www.bibianadc.com.

December 24.  AGAINN British Isle Fare.  AGAINN, located at 1099 New York Avenue, NW, will feature traditional British Isle fare, available from 5:30 p.m. to close on Christmas Eve.  Prepared by Executive Chef Wesley Morton, the menu begins with Seafood Terrine served with Scallop Mousse, Loch Duart Salmon, Cod, Shrimp, Dill aioli, and Mache followed by Christmas Goose served with Brussels Sprouts, Bacon Lardons, Goose Fat Potatoes and Bread Sauce.  The Christmas Eve menu is priced at $65 per person (tax, tip and gratuity not included), or $90 per person with wine pairings.  For reservations or additional information please call (202) 639-9830 or visit www.againn.com.

December 24 and 25.  Legal Sea Foods Special Menus.  Another option for holiday dining is Legal Sea Foods with its four Washington, D.C. area locations open on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  Each Legal Sea Foods location will be serving their delicious seafood a la carte menu as well as a holiday special entrée.  In addition, Legal Sea Foods is redefining the gift of giving by rewarding those that purchase $200 in gift cards (through the end of the year) with a complimentary lobster dinner featuring 1-1.25 lb steamed lobster with two sides.  The lobster dinner voucher will be good for use from January 1st through March 31, 2011. 

December 26.  Jingle Bells Brunch on the Odyssey.  An elegant and relaxing way to spend time with loved ones during the holidays, the annual Jingle Bells Brunch buffet features favorites like strawberries and cream French toast, mojito salmon, and the Odyssey chocolate fountain.  Location is Southwest Waterfront, 6th & Water Streets, SW (three blocks from Waterfront Metro Green line station).  Time: Cruise boards at 10:45am and sails from 11:30pm-1:30pm.  Cost is $63.90 per person, without taxes and fees.  Contact: 866-306-2469 or online. 

December 31.   New Years Eve Family Lunch Cruise aboard the Spirit of Washington

Southwest Waterfront.  2010 comes to a close aboard the New Years Eve Family Lunch Cruise on the Spirit of Washington.  Guests will enjoy a bountiful lunch buffet, live entertainment, DJ and dancing complete with party favors and noisemakers!  6th & Water Streets, SW (three blocks from Waterfront Metro Green line station).  Time: Cruise boards at 11:30am and cruises from 12:00pm-2:00pm.  Cost: $39.90 for adults and $24.90 for children 4-12, price excludes taxes and fees.  Reservations can be made by calling 866-306-2469 or online.

The Indian Chipotle: Merzi in DC

PQLiving

I have a suggestion for the title of Eric Schlosser's next book: Fresh Fast Food Nation.
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Consider: the opening of an In-N-Out Burger in Scottsdale, Arizona attracted a four-hour wait for the chain's high-quality ingredients – and news helicopters.  For ten years in a row since contracting with Niman Ranch to buy freshly-raised pork, Chipotle has reaped double-digit comparable store sales, and founder Steve Ells plans to expand with an Asian fast-casual concept in mid-2011.  Followers of the “Chipotle model” include Pei Wei, California-based Pick Up Stix, and Chicago-based Flat Top Grill.

And you can find the latest installation in fresh-fast-casual right here in D.C.  At Merzi, a restaurant that debuted in Penn Quarter this past Wednesday, owner Kaz Kazmi swaps chipotle and salsa for curry and chutney.

Yep – it’s the Indian Chipotle.

 “I saw Chipotle about four years ago.  I thought, why not do this with Indian food,” says Kazmi.

At a preview dinner Tuesday night, the similarities to Chipotle were striking.  As you enter Merzi, on the far wall is a placard that lists four bases: oven-baked naan roll, rice bowl, chaat, and salad – the Indian versions of Chipotle’s base orders: fajita, burrito fajita, burrito bowl, taco, and salad. 

Reading the placards left to right, like at Chipotle, you get to pick from a range of proteins and sauces to go with your base.  Comparable to Chipotle’s sides of nachos and guac, Kazmi’s Indian version lets you choose extras like samosas, potato tikkas, or naan (“merzi” means choice in Hindi).

Same assembly line of workers behind the counter.  Same affordable prices.  Similar modern deco interior.  Just replace Chipotle’s “food with integrity” with Merzi’s “innovatively fresh,” and, there you have it, the Indian Chipotle.

Well, almost.

“I’m from England.  I’m not just Indian, I’m English,” says Kazmi.  “I wanted to bring the flavors of England to this.”  He points to the bases, proteins and chickpeas, and says, “That side’s Indian.”  

Then he points the other way: “This side, English.  The sauces and spices are English influenced.”

Even the proteins are not a straight rendition of traditional Indian cooking.  Take, for example, the menu’s featured item, the “Tandisserie” chicken: a Tandoori-seasoned chicken cooked rotisserie style.  Although the portmanteau is an original – Kazmi trademarked it – the tandoori/rotisserie concept is probably not a Kazmi creation.  Internet sources offer a handful of recipes. 

Tandisserie naan roll

But the version at Merzi is tender, light yet flavorful, and bound to become my go-to equivalent of Chipotle’s barbacoa.  While redundancy with the Web is difficult to avoid, I haven’t seen another Indian restaurant in the region serving anything like Tandisserie. 

Neither has Kazmi.  He admits there’s at least one similar restaurant just starting out in Colorado, but, “There’s nothing like this on the East Coast.”  (Aditi Bistro in Vienna might beg to differ.) 

That’s not to say all the menu items defy Indian convention.  For example, the lamb is marinated, seared, and grilled, guaranteeing the tenderness and flavor of a rogan josh.  And the rice bowl incorporates the Indian staple of delicate long-grain basmati.

Lamb chaat

Chicken rice "bowl" 

Kazmi had one previous experiment with East-meets-West-meets-Chipotle.  In 2008, he opened Kazo Kitchen in Baltimore.  The place was located in a Chevron mini mart; he was attracted to D.C. for a shot at greater exposure.  He says he's already secured financial backing to open a series of other Merzi locations in the D.C. area.

As a sign at the restaurant proclaims, it’s a food lover’s revolution.  Your move, Chipotle. 

“We’ve always thought the Chipotle model would work well with other cuisines,” says Chris Arnold, communications director at Chipotle, when asked about his company’s soon-to-open Asian restaurant.  “Think of it as a test.”  

Vindaloo with integrity, anyone?

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MERZI


415 7th Street NW
Washington, DC 20004
(410) 746-2729
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htttp://www.merzi.com
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http://www.lindarothpr.com/